As we were preparing for a baby shower at Megan’s house – the normal chaos was playing out. We expected a lot of Katie and Holt’s friends and there were all the things that needed to be done to make it a special evening. Hank was part of the team, but not an integral part, and he soon was not the center of attention. As I was hanging decorations I turned and watched an obviously dejected boy walking slump shouldered to the couch. I asked him what was wrong. Hank looked me right in the eye “no one is paying any attention to me”. I was quick to thank him for sharing his feelings with me and glad to re-engage him. Seems like too often as we get older it is not comfortable, or maybe even appropriate, to share your concerns. I have told this story to a few friends and gotten the same observation – good for Hank. I have to think it would be a less complex world, especially as it relates to personal interaction, if we could communicate at that level of honesty. Clio is not sharing any thoughts with me just yet but her cousin will set a good example for her as she grows older.
I made it to another Easter Egg-hunt this year with our family. There were a lot of well behaved children high fiving and hugging the Bunny. While all this went on I had a chance to see a long time friend who was at the event with his grandchildren. Our talk turned to retirement, he and his wife were considering downsizing their home and he was moving into a much smaller office. Both of us are a bit sentimental and had concerns about getting rid of valuable stuff like his baseball cap collection and my t-shirts, golf hats, and old clubs. Needless to say neither of us uses any of this stuff anymore and likely the family would feel guilty getting rid of it in our absence. The solution was easy, make a digital montage of all the stuff so you can see it anytime you want and then send the treasures off to good will-someone may want them. I actually think I may do this, so stop me if you see a major flaw in the strategy.
As I was pondering the value of effective communication, I began remembering some times when total honesty was not the best choice. Like so many things in life there can be downside risk, before you go to Hank’s approach this Mark Twain quote may be a good reminder “frankness is a jewel; only the young can afford it.”
Enjoy the week end. M