I used to laughingly say that talking to yourself made excellent sense, which assumes you get the answers you want. Talking out loud to yourself has a stigma attached-what is wrong with them? Indeed, if you talking to an imaginary someone you are hallucinating! Turns out that talking to yourself is healthy and normal. In a recent NBC news study they determined that we often talk to ourselves when we are experiencing a deep emotion like anger, nervousness, or excitement. Different situations prompt the urge to talk to yourself and whether you respond out loud or have this discussion in your own mind it is healthy and it does not make you “weird”. The study finds that “talking to yourself is completely in the norm. In fact, we talk to ourselves constantly.” As I gave this more thought, I realize it is true and it comes down to the content of the conversation. If you are coaching or mentoring it is positive and constructive, if you are criticizing, blaming, or second guessing it is probably not what the Doctor ordered. There is anecdotal and some empirical evidence of the positive effects words of encouragement have on performance. You can guess how negative self talk is received in our brain.
Each day we have the opportunity to make a difference for ourselves and those with whom we interact. Turn that frown upside down, we tell our children, that advice serves us well as we want our kids to be happy. You are so wise because science has shown that the mere act of smiling can lift your mood, lower stress and possibly prolong your life. I keep finding that dopamine and serotonin are there to help me: indeed a smile triggers a chemical reaction in the brain that reduces stress and increases our feelings of happiness. Psychoneuroimmunology, the study of how the brain is connected to our immune systems, has shown that depression weakens your immune system, while happiness has been shown to boost our body’s responses.
A caveat of self talk is that you must listen to the responses. Makes sense, we see this communication gap between individuals every day.
It has been said, “most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.”
If you hear me talking to myself, please know that it is not a function of “my cord not going all the way to the wall.”
Be well. Mike